internal dialogue

visual notes: 6

2012-01-26T19:40:00.001-08:00

LA Jan 20 2012

2012-01-21T16:42:00.000-08:00

Went to pick up postcards for the show.

Saw some Yarn Bombing

Picked up the cutest fresh Mochi at Fugetsu-Do Confectioners before lunch.

And then it was Under the Big Black Sun at MOCA Geffen.

Wonderful to see all this work, although these large survey exhibition do not do justice to the much of the work.

Bruce Conner 'Crossroads' still from film

Chris Burden 'The Reason for the Neutron Bomb' detail

Suzanne Lacy 'Three Weeks in May' map which was part of the original installation

It was also interesting to see original documents, like Nixon's resignation letter, and projections of what was going on during the time these works were created, approx. 1974-1981. I found myself thinking it wasn't that long ago, and often it seemed like the issues are still here. I wondered if I should be more political in my art practice (and the issues are still here). I wondered how people who did not experience these times, experience this exhibit.

The other exhibit at the Geffen was 'An Epitaph for Civil Rights' works by Theaster Gates. Very appropriate to be in exhibit was most of the work in the rest of the museum.

So, so much work to see, I could have spent a lot more time, but I was got very overwhelmed. Then it was a grande half caf soy latte for the drive south. Traffic not too bad until we hit San Diego County, go figure.

Another wonderful micro mini vacation.

Convention of

2012-01-19T18:03:00.001-08:00

sign twirlers, I saw when walking home today.

visual notes: 5

2012-01-16T17:53:00.001-08:00

visual notes: 4

2012-01-16T17:48:00.001-08:00

exhausted

2012-01-16T17:33:00.000-08:00

Just got home from my first day of walking to work at IKEA. It took just over one hour to get there, then put in a six hour shift (all on my feet), and then an hour and 10 home. Ten miles total.

The scenery, not the best.

And the uphill on the way home. I hope I get stronger soon.

visual notes: 3

2012-01-09T07:45:00.001-08:00

Still there

2012-01-07T11:12:00.001-08:00

4 days later

visual notes: 2

2012-01-03T14:50:00.001-08:00

Maybe balloons are not so good

2012-01-03T14:48:00.001-08:00

These balloons have been in this tree for more than 7 days now. I wonder how much longer, and I remember seeing many ballon remnants in many remote areas.

Leaving & Arriving

2011-12-28T15:40:00.003-08:00

Going up to cold rainy weather today is okay. I will spend time with my family, and then return to this wonderful climate.

visual notes: 1

2011-12-28T15:40:00.001-08:00

Visual notes - test

2011-12-25T18:07:00.001-08:00

acknowledge

2011-12-19T20:23:00.000-08:00

It is time for me to acknowledge what is true. San Diego is not the culturally deprived city, myself, and others, often think it is.

Saturday night Dec 10 2011, we went to the reception of Oilwhelmed, an installation by Terri Hughes-Oelrich, at Art Produce Gallery. Really well done. Whimsical and thought provoking, a combination I always enjoy.

This past Saturday during out urban hike we stopped at SDMA to see the exhibit Mexican Modern Painting. It's nice to pop into a museum and check out a collection of painting, most of which I'd never seen, in publication, or live.

Today I saw part of Phenomenal: California Light, Space, Surface at the La Jolla location of MCASD

What was most enjoyable, are the works which demand participation.

Bruce Nauman's Green Light Corridor

Robert Irwin's 1° 2° 3° 4°

Always a pleasure experience (although I wish they had a place to sit)

Then there was Eric Orr's Zero Mass, not sure how one would photograph that, but it was a great experience.

I also enjoyed seeing the objects in the show, Larry Bell and Douglas Wheeler among my favorites.

Douglas Wheeler's Untitled

I am looking forward to seeing the rest of the exhibit at the downtown location, and I really hope I can see and experience it all more than once.

If I compare San Diego to Vancouver, I can see we have much more going on. Instead of comparing it to LA, SF, or NYC, I can also see I need to just appreciate the wonderful opportunities for art that we do have.

how I refresh

2011-12-18T13:07:00.000-08:00

I am very fortunate to have a little nature so close.

It refreshes my mind and body.

interesting or scary

2011-12-14T16:59:00.000-08:00

When I came out of Pet Smart, 2 stores down from Walmart. I was parked beside this.

Is politics in the USA getting interesting or scary?

holiday season

2011-12-12T18:56:00.000-08:00

It's true, I don't like like the Christmas and Holiday Season.

On the top of this years pet peeves list are:

Toy drives. Do children in need really need a junky toy made and shipped over from China. Would it be more advantageous to them if they had health insurance, a college fund, food, clothing, and a roof over their head, every day. I know toy drives make those giving the toys feel good, and the kids getting the toys love it. Are we really just distracting kids from what they really need with cheap plastic toys?

Christmas trees, have been a pet peeve for many many years now, and I really don't understand why this practice continues. It's an environmental nightmare.

First the trees are grown on farms, using much water, fertilizers, and pesticides. Then these trees are trucked to be sold to the masses, who drive to pick up the trees, and haul the trees home, to be used for at most, a month. Then, at best, the trees are either picked up by city refuse trucks and hauled to be mulched, or the tree owner hauls the tree to where it can be mulched.

We give ourselves the indulgence of having a Christmas tree by taking away the environment.

Then there is all this craziness with shopping. One cannot even go and get groceries without people franticly running around, no parking, and Christmas music everywhere.

I am very happy to have opted out of Christmas and Hanukah years ago (even though I cannot totally escape it). I do wonder why Thanksgiving and New Years is not enough for everyone?

christmas cactus

2011-12-07T17:52:00.000-08:00

Last year I bought one, with blossoms. I was not sure it would bloom again, with it being inside.

It is very exciting to see the buds.

The circle device has a new photo op.

two places at once

2011-12-05T10:13:00.000-08:00

On Sat May 14, 2011 I participated in two events, thousands of miles apart.

Only in todays world would this be possible.

2837 University Orientation @ agitprop

"The 2837 University is a network of creative thinkers, small businesses, community members and sites in North Park (San Diego, CA). It encourages knowledge exchange by facilitating courses and events which coordinate the interests and resources of the North Park community and environs. Open exchange, and the blending of theory and practice, is the central idea and activity of the university; blurring the student teacher dichotomy, and fostering projects and resources that are financially and locally accessible to all."

From 2-6 I’ll be working on Organic Boundaries.

I am very excited about this entire project and hope the course I have proposed will happen this summer.

The other event is the Billboard Art Project, this time in Savannah GA.

I must give Michele Guieu a huge hug and thanks for getting me involved in this. I remember as a young kid driving from Toronto to NYC, to visit family, and seeing billboards. Over the years they have changed, and I remember thinking about working on billboards for years now.

Unfortunately I cannot go to see this live, but it will be documented, and the project will come to Southern California in the fall.

I hope I will have the opportunity to participate in this project many times.

I find it a very motivating project to work on, it was hard for me to stop and send my images.

Billboard Art Project: timing

2011-12-05T10:10:00.000-08:00

The concept of time is interesting. Do things work out for the best, or is it just that it all works out?

Thursday night we stood outside the hotel waiting for the Billboard Art Project to begin. We waited and waited, and, for someone who has now lived in SoCal for a long time, it was cold. We decided to get some sleep. The couple of time I woke up that night I peeked out our window to see if the project had started, it had not. Around 7:20am Michele could see from her bed, that the project was up and running. We got up, showered, had breakfast and went out to watch. David let us know that NPR, KPCC, would come over and do some interviewing.

While he was there Michele's work came up and she was interviewed. It was all very exciting.

We took a little break, my work was approximately 1.5 hours in the rotation after Michele's, and I needed more layers on. We went back down and as my work approached a crane showed up with to men to work on the billboard. Now, I got excited. My work popped up, and they were up there working on it. I could the urge to go up on the crane, and walk the plank around the billboard. Then they moved a ladder in front. I loved it. I really do enjoy the intervention of life.

Timing was prefect!

Billboard Art Project: Corona

2011-12-03T18:20:00.000-08:00

This was the first time I was able to see the project live and it was well worth the effort to get up to Corona CA. I had been questioning if this would be a project I would continue.

There was so much to be inspired by, by being there, throughout the day and night. I've also gained a deeper appreciation for how difficult it is to document these.

But, I actually love the weird effects the LED lights have.

I had a lot of fun, learned much, and have been inspired.

Thank you David Morrison and Claire Accardo. Do both do so much and I am very grateful for the opportunity you have given me. and others to participate in this project.

Billboard Art Project

Documentation of my my project

80+ degrees F

2011-11-27T12:02:00.000-08:00

Got a Florida Canyon hike in before the rest of the day to be spent inside.

this thanks

2011-11-26T14:32:00.000-08:00

Today was a most gorgeous day for a walk, before going to work at IKEA. Our business is surviving nicely in this economy, my mother IS recovering from a stroke, there are many wonderful people in my life, I don't live in a war zone, and I have the luxury to be creating art.

This Thanksgiving weekend there is much for me to be grateful for, as there is every day of my life.

tank to tankless

2011-11-08T08:32:00.000-08:00

For day one, when we took ownership of this building I wanted to replace the water heaters with tankless.

Yesterday it happened.

While it was happening I moved the computer and printer to the kitchen. Modern technology is marvelous, it was not a difficult thing to do at all. Now the remodel for the office/studio/guest suite will continue.

While this happens my office is moving to the other side. I will have to organize it some more, but it is very functional.

Anxiety triggers: moving things around, make-shift work space, kitchen work space severely impacted, and spending a lot of money. Today I can see it will all work out, and we feel really good about the switch from water sitting in 3 tanks, to our beautiful new, energy efficient unit.

if I could change

2011-11-06T12:50:00.000-08:00

There are some things I want to change.

1. world peace, for the safety of all life, and the environment. An added bonus would be the Naval Hospital in Florida Canyon could be taken apart and recycled.

2. all bridges are accessible to bicyclists and pedestrians. No cars only bridges.

3. Florida Street running through Florida Canyon, broken up, recycled, and the canyon restored.

This is just a partial list, accumulated while on todays walk.

san diego - vancouver - san diego - vancouver

2011-11-04T17:45:00.000-07:00

Last night was the craziest Face Time yet.
As we were talking to my parents on my Mac I got my iPhone and and Face Timed my sister. My mom modeled her new outfit for us, which meant my sister watched my mother through my phone on the monitor of my computer.

Our Apple addiction continues.

from public to private and back

2011-11-04T16:13:00.000-07:00

My attempt to journal privately was very short lived. I tried doing it with Pages, then downloaded a program, and I just was not happy with either.

It must be that I have become comfortable with this blog format and don't want to but any time and effort into figuring out another format.

In just a short time, things have changed again. My desires for reclusiveness have to be adapted, as my internal dialogue project continues in this format. I think my friend Noel must know what is good for me. Thanks Noel.

another change

2011-10-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

As the world becomes more and more accessible to more and more people, I find myself becoming more and more reclusive.

I find a need now to have my writing practice be private. As I came to this realization I thought I would title this last post, THE END. But, as I thought about this I became aware that there are no ends, it is just a change. Even books and movies live on in our memories and discussions.

This has been a very valuable experience and I am grateful to all of you who took the time to have a glimpse into my internal dialogue.

For now internal dialogue will stay available in this public realm.

THE END: AS CHANGE.....

it's back

2011-10-23T12:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I finally got out to Mission Trails to hike South Fortuna. It was great, and just before the start of the climb we saw this.

Today I did Florida Canyon, deciding to retrace my route when I lost the circle device.

As I passed many interesting plants which I would have photographed with the circle device, my thoughts went to should I replace it, if so, with what. I decided to just focus on working with the images I already have.

I came to the cactus where the circle device blow off. I carefully looked around thinking, it could be just hanging on a spine, or covered up. And the I saw it. I was so excited to have found it I forgot to document with a photo where it lay. I kicked away one section so I could get my arm in with minimal damage and carefully got my hand in there and scooped it out. Put it into my walking wallet.

And it is now back with me, and in none the worse for wear.

This was the third thing I recently lost, and found. With each thing I had come to accept that they were gone, and now they are not. Is is that I have much luck, or something else going on. I wonder if I will find the reading glasses I lost on Friday.

back at it

2011-10-21T18:25:00.000-07:00

Today Kombu went back to the vet.

I notice blood in his stool and then he was having problems doing anything in the litter box. He was not eating or drinking water.

The doctor prescribed another round of fluids, and suggested we continue with assuming it's the hyperthiroidism giving him problems.

As we waited for the assistant to come in, and take him for his treatment I told him; if you want to die it is okay, it is your choice, and he thought about it.

We went home with new medciations and food, and will see what he decides.

now Kombu

2011-10-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

Kombu had to go to the vet yesterday. They took care of his bowel back-up problem, eye, pumped him with fluids, and did a full blood workup. Last night he started medication for the infections in his eye and urinary track.

Today we go the results of the blood work and found out he has hyperthyroidism. This apparently is another common occurance with older cats. It can be treated with medication, which I have picked up. He will then have to go to monitor his levels.

I asked what would happen if we did not give him the medication and monitor his levels. Since the thyroid regulates so many organs, it would not be a comfortable existence for the remainder of his life.

It makes me wonder about the wonders of medicine. Should we? I took an oath not to kill, and I don't want to see him suffer. This means we do what we can to help him to be comfortable for the remainder of his life.

Kombu, we better get at least 4 more years with you!

connection: culture and environment

2011-10-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

This past trip to Vancouver I appreciated how connected my sister and Louise are to the native culture in the pacific northwest, and the environment up there.

It is really nice how they collect First Nation works of art and utilitarian objects. I tried to take some pictures but only this one of their collection survivied my recent computer downloads and cleanings.

Today I had a chance to check out all their pictures from their recent vacation.

I am very fortunate to have family that know the importance of connection to culture and environment. And, as I write this I realize, there is no separation between the two.

Firewalker went today

2011-10-14T19:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all the wonderful years. You will always be with us.

Now that Petzel and you have moved on, I have no meditation partner. I will miss this, and so much more.

Thanks for making sure you spent as much time as possible with us as you prepared for your next adventure. I am sorry I stepped on you repeadedly during this time.

We love you.

up north again

2011-10-14T08:51:00.000-07:00

Returned the other day from another trip to Vancouver to visit my family. This time the visit was shorter. My mother's stroke recovery is progressing, all be it, very slowly.

It is interesting to see first hand the effects of a brain injury. We take so much for granted, and it is so different than other bodily injury.

I got the iPad 2 all set up and working for my parents. I know they will not get close to using it to it's full capacity, but I think they will enjoy it. Since I've been home we've done Face Time every day.

I will go back up for New Years, and hopefully they will be able to come down here, to a milder climate, in March.

pictures from this trip

Apple addict

2011-10-05T18:05:00.000-07:00

Steve Jobs died today. He was instrumental creating wonderfully designed, efficient, and easy to use technology. He helped create things others use to create positive change. It is an amazing chain. He change the world.

We are the same age, and all I can do is try, as Gandhi said to be "the change you wish to see in the world" It seems so minuscule compared to what Steve Jobs accomplished in his lifetime.

I had recently talked myself out of wanting an iPad. It did not have everything, which in my mind, I wanted.

On Sat we went to the Apple store, and bought one for my parents. I have been setting it up for them. Downloading apps, and putting some things on that will occupy my time with the ordeal of traveling by air.

It is a wonderful device. The love affair is back on.

It took me years to let go of Windows, but today I am an Apple addict!

Thanks you Apple, and Steve Jobs.

changing aging

2011-09-30T20:44:00.000-07:00

Firewalker has the same disease that took Petzel. It seems he wants to be close to me more often. It is not easy because of the smell. Is it the smell of death? I have smelt it before, Petzel, and when a close friend died from cancer. I let him lay with me whenever he wants. I don't push him away because of the smell, I put the top of my hand near my nose, and pet him gently.

Next week I go up to see my family. My mother is still in recovery from the stroke. The recovery could be the rest of her life, and maybe not. We all change, sometimes it's much more gradual.

I know it is more difficult for my Dad. I am sure he wants her back to what he thinks she should be. He has become a care-giver, his role in their relationship has changed. For her it just is. He has accepted his new role, and I hope he can accept how she has changed. For her it just is. It is so different for him, but not for her. I guess, this is a brain injury.

As I age, and change, I hope I can be accepting of this in others, Firewalker, my Mom, and myself.

left behind part 2

2011-09-19T12:24:00.000-07:00

Took the circle device out on yesterdays walk.

Twenty one images where taken before it happened. They are safe and uploaded to flickr.

I carefully place it on a cactus and a very small hoof of air blew it off. This has happened before, each time I stop breathing for a second. This time I could not see where it landed, and it was not easy to get into this cactus bush. I tried kicking some away to see if I could get in there and find my circle device, but this was futile.

Now there are questions.

Do I use the pink X device with plants?

Do I use the the blue X device with plants?

Do a make a new circle device for plants?

It saddened me as I walked home, the end of this circle device has come. It is nice that it rests in the cactus garden in Balboa Park.

left behind

2011-09-18T10:40:00.000-07:00

On the walk the other day I came across blooming cactus.

I had not taken the circle device with me.

As I stared at the blossoms I regretted not having my device with me.

I told myself for the work being done now I would only use the images taken from May thru Aug as source references.

Before, I had told myself I would take images using the circle device until I lost it.

Must not leave it behind. This device is alive and well, today you will be with me.

getting ready

2011-09-14T18:00:00.000-07:00

I am working towards an exhibit of work which will happen in March.

The series was started in Aug 2010, but really took root May 2011.

There were over 300 images taken, some did not make the first cut, others the second cut, and so it goes.

I had 312 images printed by snapfish.

2 were bad and are being re-printed, 2 should have never been printed. Uploading from flickr to snapfish, ordering the prints, and dealing with the problem prints was a snap.

The prints are not the greatest, but they will work well for what I need, in choosing which ones will go from being a note to noted.

As I number, and sort, the project has had a name change, and I am learning more about the project, and my process.

There is a lot of work ahead.

There are endless possibilities.

I am very lucky to be in the midst of this project, and grateful for the opportunity, and push this exhibit gives me.

zoos

2011-09-11T12:43:00.000-07:00

It is my opinion that zoos are not only cruel but unnecessary.

The rebuttal to this is often that zoos are helping un-endanger endangered species, and educate people.

We, as humans, have messed up, and are responsible for the demise of other creatures. We can accept this, understand, and learn from our mistakes.

I do not see any evidence that zoos, and the caging of animals has in any way helped change our behavior. Often there is inbreeding of species (an example being the White Tiger), and the over-bredding of species (often sold to private hunting farms).

There is no need for us to see animals in unnatural environment, living cages lives, as a means of understanding and learning about this earth and the creatures on it.

I was once asked if I would be okay with zoos if the animals had more space. My reply was that animals do have more space, they have the earth, and we need to protect it for them.

It is time for us to stop caging up animals, and start respecting them, and the earth.

San Diego 8/8/11

2011-09-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

I was on the phone in front of the computer. In a flash it all went dark and the phone dead.

A grin grew. I quickly called the person back, on my cell phone, to explain we had a power outage. Once we were done talking I went up stairs, still not power, so I pulled out the non-cordless, and plugged it into the phone jack. Worked like a charm. Tried getting information using the iPhone, with no luck on logging into the SDG&E site. Gave up and called my Dad, had him, in Vancouver, go on the internet and get any info he could. It was sounding fairly major, so we decided to fill up a couple of extra water bottles, and get the candles and kerosine lamps out.

There was still plenty of daylight so we laid around and caught up on some reading. As the sun set we went out, walked over to Bird Park for a view of the city. There were many more lights than I thought there would be, a lots of red dots. The Naval Hospital looked totally unaffected. Forésta had an old cell phone which had a radio and we sat there looking at the skyline, and stars, each with an earbud in one ear listening to reports of the power outage.
We unplugged from the radio and just looked out. The realization hit me then. This could all be a a plan on SDG&E and Sempra Energy to increase support for the Sunrise Power Link. I would not put this past them, they are the ones that created the power shortage that took down the governor of California. They are the ones that were in cahoots with Enron. It was maddening to think, but could be all so true.

For now it was time to let go of the conspiracy theory and take to the swings, leaning way back to take in all the sky.

We decided to check out University Ave without power. It was beautiful walking down the middle of the streets, lit by the moon, with the occasional car lights (they seems annoying). We passed many houses with people on their front porches or yards. It is not often that you see people in the fronts of their home. When we got to University there was many more people walking around, some with flashlights, most without. We passed a pizza place serving pizza from their gas burning oven, the West Coast Tavern was open, and they had a truck parked with the radio going for people to get information. As we approached the corner of 30th and University there was a lot of activity. Heaven Sent Desserts was giving out free slices of cake. We went in and they told us the cakes would be ruined, and they would rather people from the community enjoy them, than to have them thrown out. They were taking donations for 2 charities, we gave, and I found out today they raised $600.

We walked back home eating out cake beaming about our neighborhood. It looked beautiful in the moonlight, people were all friendly, free cake, and no looting.

When we got home, we lit some candles, opened a bottle of sparkling water, put a DVD in the laptop, laid down together and starting watching A Christmas Story. We went to bed early, and when I got up to get a glass of water at 11:25 I know it was all over. Power had been restored. It saddened me that the event was short lived, and it reaffirmed my conspiracy theory. How convenient that power was out during the hours when it is used the least, SDG&E would not loose that much revenue, and they make a case for another power link being essential. Of course if power was produced where it was needed most, which is should be, a link would not be needed, and a link would not fail.

I thoroughly enjoyed our short lived power outage. Wouldn't it be nice if the power went out once a month, or once every three months.

a weight has been lifted

2011-09-04T13:07:00.000-07:00

I am looking up

the shift has happened

a-recluse artist: step 7

2011-09-02T20:27:00.000-07:00

don't attend San Diego Art Fair

............worked late

............bike ride and create

............walk, create, work

sorry to all those participating ............

urban hike

2011-08-23T08:56:00.001-07:00

summer salon series wk 12

2011-08-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

A friend met me there and we started at the Gustav Stickley exhibit and joined in on a docent tour.

Miki Iwasaki's Don't Fence Me In was elegant, functional, and fun.

I should have taken pictures.

We participated in a game to find pieces by Matthew Hebert throughout the museum.

We found them all and got our glow in dark bracelets which we wore to the Pecha Kucha presentation by the San Diego Architecture Foundation. This was my first Pecha Kucha which was entertaining and edcuational. I will have to check out more of these.

Smelling the City by Brian Goeltzenleuchter and Katharine Whitcomb had an adverse effect on my lungs.

I remember feeling before this summer stated thinking and feeling that it was already over, and now it just about is. Only 2 more Summer Salon Series nights.

nail polish

2011-08-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

Every summer I paint my toe nails.
Each summer is either a new color, or using up the previous summers bottle.

This year I started with a color my Mom had left me. It was a color that reminded me of Rachel, my grandfathers third wife. I used it all last summer and loved it. Every time I looked down and saw the beautiful pink I thought of my Mom and Rachel.

In July the bottle came crashing down and went all over the bathroom. Most of it I got up, some is still on the floor and on the back of the toilet.

My nails lasted though the trip to Vancouver, but needed to be redone as soon as I got home. I started to take it off, only to find the nail polish remover was too old to work properly. To fix this toe nail color problem has taken over a week. I was even out in public a couple of times with messy exposed toe nails, not good.

The old polish got removed on Sun and the new color applied Tue night. This morning I saw the new color in daylight. It is a very strange pink. Nothing like the beautiful pink my Mom had given me.

There is no recreating the past. It is gone, I hope my memories will stay with me .

the other day

2011-08-16T19:46:00.000-07:00

I picked up 5 bags of dog shit

And then I wrote:

culture afternoon - evening

2011-08-12T19:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I took a break from uploading, downloading, and organizing images.

First stop was the Apple Store, Fashion Valley for a workshop on iMovie.

Very very noisy store, but I was able to get some helpful information, which should facilitate getting me back into a little video production. I am sure I don't need the Final Cut program, but once I get working on video I'll know better.

Next was Quint Contemporary to see some of Manny Farber's work.

Always a lush treat to experience.

Quick stop at the Pannikin for a decaf soy latte, and 1/4 of a fabulous lemon bar.

Then on to Art Produce Gallery's garden for the Sugar Museum's PopFizz experience.

The Sugar Museum wonderfully combines art and education, through playful experience and experiment.

The pop I made was coconut milk, with chopped basil and ginger, in sparkling water. Refreshing and spicy!

Then a quick stop at home to get a warm layer of clothing and off to SDMA for the Summer Salon series where I was lolled into a state of relaxed contemplation by the performance of Mobil 4.

SDMA website: "For this live music performance, Ben Houge has combined his background as a musician and composer with his experience designing musical scores for video games. Rather than requiring each performer to keep track of sequences and repetitions, a computer will make random or algorithmic decisions in real-time, presenting the results to performers as a scrolling score that combines traditional musical notation with the real-time awareness of music videogames like Guitar Hero or Rock Band. This system introduces a new kind of spontaneity into live performance, much like playing a videogame, which enforces a musical logic while still ensuring that no two performances are ever alike."

And I played with Adam Manley's Build Your Own City: Suburban Poolscape.

Although I feel very much behind on my projects, this break was well worth it.

crossing i805 project

2011-08-12T15:52:00.000-07:00

This project started last Sat, with a limited amount of participants.

Tomorrow will be our second meeting.

I wonder if there will be more or less people.

I wonder if I alone could sustain this project.

In any case, I've started to document it on my website: crossing i805 project

First meeting at 2738 University

catching up

2011-08-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

traveling to and from Vancouver

working on getting pictures off iphone and camera

although the iphone was used far more

almost lost the circle a couple of times

but it is not ready to go

the circle plant project continues

332

2011-08-03T17:35:00.000-07:00

pictures on the iphone

24 pictures on the point & shoot

and the photos I took with my sister's point & shoot on flickr

Back and Overwhelmed

what does it mean

2011-08-02T18:58:00.000-07:00

to say goodbye

I hold back a floodgate of tears, overflowing emotions

I am not saying goodbye to this beautiful country

My family

They are a part of my life, far or near

The next time we part ways

I must remember, it is not goodbye, it is, talk to you later

It's not easy

2011-07-31T08:03:00.000-07:00

seeing someone you love

After a brain injury

I do see her recovering

It is a slow process

Look what

2011-07-28T14:56:00.000-07:00

made an appearance!

Recovery view 2

2011-07-27T11:02:00.002-07:00

Recovery view 1

2011-07-27T11:02:00.001-07:00

Much of

2011-07-27T10:50:00.001-07:00

Bunnie in recovery

2011-07-27T09:38:00.000-07:00

With Lil Lou

Playing around with

2011-07-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

This mobil blogging.

LAX

2011-07-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5632709928476086674" />

backed out

2011-07-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

I have backed out of participating in the project Twins in Twain. Today the artist contract came, and the deadline is unattainable for me.

If I was not going to Vancouver it would not be a problem, but not one possible silk screener contacted me back about doing the silk screens during the time I’d be gone.

I worked hard on the concept and feel frustrated that I will not be able to bring it to fruition. If only I had known I would have not put so much time into it, and instead worked more on preparing for the project Crossing I-805

and free art: cart

It is what it is.

Knowing I will be spending time with my Mom makes it all good.

to say or not to say

2011-07-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

Friday I will go up to Canada.

I feel as though I must be careful suggesting possibilities to my sister about our mother.

She gets very short and snappy whenever I do. I get the feeling she does not want me to make any suggestions. Like it is not my place to do so, maybe because I don’t leave up there. Maybe she is very overwhelmed.

I get hurt by this, and must figure out a way not be be, otherwise my interactions with my sister will go very badly while I’m up there. I must let those feeling go, not attach to them.

It may be best not to make any suggestions to her, keep my mouth shut, and my opinions to myself. I will have to see if I can hold back, and do so.

I can and will talk to my Mom and Dad. Right now my Mom will not remember, so I don’t have to worry about her telling my sister.

two pics of cat

2011-07-17T18:31:00.000-07:00

Kombu, his bed buddies, & shinning eye

Kombu at his computer

Pictures sent to me, from his Dad

carmageddon

2011-07-16T17:57:00.000-07:00

Looks like we can live without cars.

The freeway looks amazing empty.

May have to get up there when they close it again.

These pictures are from LA Times

Reuters wrote about an airplane bike race!

still trying

2011-07-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

It is a constant struggle to eat healthy.

I just like the taste of food that is not good for me.

As my mother recovers from her small stroke, and I get ready to go up to see her, it does not get easier.

Maybe this will help.

do i want to

2011-07-11T19:48:00.000-07:00

There is a call to co-workers to bring in pictures of their art.

Do I really want to be rejected by my IKEA co-workers.

I miss getting my rejection letters. All nicely printed or copied on letterhead.

These days the rejections come as a email.

afamous artist does not grow via email

if I don't get it

2011-07-09T16:17:00.000-07:00

Today, I was thinking about how there are people that do understand my work.

It is true, it can be considered, that my work is all over the map. I've been told this is not good and I need to focus.

I am focused, just not on one thing.

Today, I realized in some ways I don't understand what I am doing. I often have difficulty talking about my work, which makes sense, if I'm not getting it.

At this stage of my life. At this stage in my career. Does it matter?

happy birthday

2011-07-04T18:18:00.001-07:00

my gift to you

a new flag

fly in peace

its easy

2011-07-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

To stay young as an artist.

One just remains an emerging artist throughout ones career.

before house cleaning

2011-06-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

Just took the car to the mechanic, 30,000 mile check up.

As soon as he saw the car “you need tires”.

There goes my ipad.

Not depressed about it. It just is, for now.

Walking home I saw a flower I’d never seen before.

I wished I could make sculpture that beautiful and interesting.

Saw a house and car.

And as I walked through the business district of my neighborhood.

The thought came to mind how much I truly like living here.

first 3 for free

2011-06-22T17:08:00.000-07:00

I am busy creating pieces for the free art: cart project. My goal has gone from taking the cart out once a month to 3-4 times a year, with a deadline for the first outing to be before Aug.

The work is taking longer than I thought it would. I think I just did’t remember how involved I get with each piece.

This past weekend the piece I donated to the Museum School Action did not sell. I feel bad about this, and it makes me wonder if anyone will even want to take one of these pieces.

I must not worry.

at work today

2011-06-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

First the racking. Then the rug elephant.

out of context

2011-06-17T19:56:00.000-07:00

A confused feeling came over me as I walked up to the Buddha statue on display at the art museum. Do I bow, do I make an offering, what exactly do I do in this context.

I felt out of place, or was Buddha out of place.

Why are such works in art museums?

Do these belong here?

another special day

2011-06-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

I found out from a friend that today is a traditional buddhist Merit day. This friend has also give me many buddha statues.

I am grateful for my good friend Jonathan, and all those people in my life who are so supportive, and love me unconditionally. I am a very fortunate person.

And today is a total lunar eclipse.

a-recluse artist: step 6

2011-06-13T17:20:00.000-07:00

be inspired

Joseph Cornell

Ray Johnson

Richard Tuttle

a-recluse artist: step 5

2011-06-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

Stay focused

Stay with the projects

Stay healthy

Don't get sucked in to being out

back on the bike

2011-06-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

My first ride since falling over on my bike and tweaking my ankle. After meeting up with three people, and stopping for coffee, it was just Forésta and I. We headed towards some climbing, and took 2 short cuts.

The second one was a body shocker.

5 miles of unpaved road, with sections of extreme wash board.

Another great adventure with 7+ hours on the bike, 53+ miles, and lots of sun.

feeling better

2011-06-10T15:04:00.000-07:00

Today when I spoke to my mom she sounded much better. So much so that I finally had the feeling that she can recover from the major mini stroke she had. I had been thinking all week about death, and wondering if she was thinking about it. She said she was not, and this, I think is good.

It is a strange thing to be thinking about the end of ones life. I had thought about it weeks ago, before this, wondering how I might die. I remember a friend asking me if there was anything I wanted to do before I died, I thought of one specific thing, which has since been done. I have no bucket list.

Am I ready to die. Probably. Will I die soon. I hope, probably not. Maybe I’m really not at all ready. Still more work to do.

motivate self

2011-06-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

For some reason have been relying on others to motivate me to walk, hike, and bike. This was never the case before, so I am not sure why I am so compelled to have someone with me these days. But today after work I went out to walk Florida Canyon, by myself.

I stopped a bit to take pictures for my projects.

And then while I was in the canyon I took a moment to look up, take in the the expanse, and not be so focused on seeing details.

I saw how beautiful the canyon is, even with a road running right down the middle. And appreciated how fortunate I am to have this so close to where I live. I enjoy walking through both natural and manmade environments. I think it’s the, being in, that connects me, and thereby rejuvenates. And I remember that I need to do this as much as possible, and I can motivate myself to do so.

connection to far away

2011-06-05T21:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was not feeling quite right. Emotional, drained, unfocused. This morning I found out that my mother had a mini-stroke over the weekend. This is probably not the first, but it seems to have been the worse thus far.

I think my body felt a connection to the women who gave birth to me, co-raised me, and loves me unconditionally.

It is not easy to be far away. To hear the anxiety in my sister voice, and the burden she feels. To know that my father is at a loss about what the person he has lived with for 56+ years has gone through, and is going through.

I wonder, would it be better if I were up there. And I think, maybe it is best that I am not. I am not sure I would be an asset within the mix. I spoke with them all later in the day. We are all were we are, making the best of it.
I'll talk to them all again tomorrow.

on the move

2011-06-04T17:54:00.000-07:00

I left to run errands on foot taking only 5 items with me.

In constant use.

I must be aware while working on the circle plants project.

One bee rested briefly on a finger.

Got home with another project to start.

Shelter

2011-06-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

Last night was the return of the Summer Salon Series at SDMA.

It was difficult for me to get there. I am so short of time, for my art, for my self. After work I was very hesitant to go. Remembering how much I enjoyed all the ones I went to last year, I got myself over there.

Being introduced to the work of Hughie Lee-Smith and his painting Sunday Afternoon was surprisingly nice. I really liked the painting they brought up from the vault.

Then listening to the conversation about the homelessness in San Diego and some of the things Councilman Todd Gloria and the city are doing and trying to do made me proud that Mr. Gloria is my city council representative.

Before the talks I had the opportunity to interact with Omar Lopez’s In the Belly of the Whale, this time on the outside. After the talks I wondered through the exhibit Art of the Americas. Reflecting on some of the wonderful pieces I discovered, no other people, only my thoughts to distract me.

I thought how wonderful many of these pieces where. How I was surprised that they were part of the museum collection (all but one, the Joan Brown). I enjoyed the solitude, and noticed how I crave it more and more.

When I went back out to the rotunda I saw Omar’s piece Homohaus being activated. I joined in for a little while, and then a little good conversation with some I had not seen in awhile.

As I walked back to the car I came across a group of homeless people, and smiled as I became aware that they had a TV, and it was running on the cities dollar.

I did not regret going at all, and I look forward to being energized each week.

old school

2011-06-02T22:32:00.000-07:00

Finished the print for the auction.

It's nice that my first print after being away from printing is a give-away.

Fits right into the free art project.

double dip or a changing economic reality

2011-06-02T07:16:00.000-07:00

I am grateful to have a little security blanket.

back to digital

2011-05-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile working digitally.

I have a new computer, and am having to figure everything out again.

I keep printing and printing. Each time watching to see as it emerges.

There are I things I like and things I don’t.

This one print I have been working on for weeks. This makes me realize that the prints for free art: cart will take longer than I thought.

And I remember how much I enjoy this process.

a-recluse artist: step 4

2011-05-28T17:25:00.000-07:00

a-recluse artist: step 3

2011-05-27T16:58:00.000-07:00

details series

today

2011-05-26T12:02:00.000-07:00

#100 image of the first month of the circle plants project

a-recluse artist: step 2

2011-05-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

To like of not to like, this is the question.

If I like, I show up, thereby not being reclusive.

If I like, even on other sites, this will show on my Facebook profile. And I don’t like that.

I will not be a total recluse artist, even though, today, I feel like being one. I can like something, and then delete it on my profile. I wonder if that would mean I do not like.

I am not sure what to do about this like.

For now I will not like. Later I may like.

a-recluse artist: step 1

2011-05-25T18:51:00.000-07:00

Facebook minimalist

blog as therapy

2011-05-23T16:23:00.000-07:00

It is time for me to accept that my path is not one that will “change” the world, art or larger. Or, for that matter make any significant difference.

I can continue to create, be conscientious of the environment, animal & human rights, and have my opinion & ideas.

I will work on being compassionate, nonjudgmental, understanding, and accepting.

Maybe my art practice, over time, will show a glimpse of what I can and will do.

Today I reorganized some work on Flickr and my website, and continued with some projects.

As I see a way to move forward. I know it’s all good, and again, realize how fortunate I am.

just another art practice crisis

2011-05-22T10:30:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about my practice.

I am wondering if any art practice can facilitate change, or awareness. I am wondering if it is an efficient and effective method for change. I am wondering if an art practice can separate itself from being about the artist, the practice, with the information one wants to get out there. Can it be just about the message.

It is feeling like an arrogant position for an art practice. I start to feel uncomfortable.

I am questioning what I want my practice to be. I am not sure, but I do know, I do not what it to be, an in-your-face, this is what I think, practice. Who am I to shove what I think at you. I need to stop that.

I think about my Free Art project. It being partially about bringing awareness of contemporary art to a population, I think, are unaware of it. As I ponder this, I get more uncomfortable, and realize this is not what I want my practice to be about.

I think of abandoning the Free Art project altogether. But, I like to create digital prints, and I don’t want them being stored in the studio. I would prefer, if someone likes one, that they have it. The project needs to be just this.

There will be no Free Art Rally that I organize.

There will be no more Facebook posts on my wall, and I am not sure about “liking” something. Does it really matter that I “like” something. Probably not. Might be best to stop this.

I think it is time to simplify my practice. Possibly time to become a semi-reclusive artist. I need to work on becoming the person I want to be, and my art practice will follow.

another purge

2011-05-20T15:33:00.000-07:00

A project I was working on, did not work. This is not unusual.

The project was reworking the chicken wire I installed for Yard Appreciation, which was a part of Vacancy III.

The concept was to bring cuttings from Florida Canyon, fix them to the chicken wire, wait and see if the seeds would drop, over the winter the rain would nourish, and this spring Florida Canyon would start to grow.

It did not work.

All we have to do now is pull up the stacks, and we will use the chicken wire for the garden, or in a construction project.

I deleted the photos on Flickr. No muss, no fuss, nothing in the trash or recycling bin.

And I am happy with the end result of this project.

Am I done with this space?

Billboard Art Project: Savannah

2011-05-19T12:47:00.000-07:00

The Billboard Art Project: Savannah was Sat May 14 and I could not get to a computer during the times my projects where up.

The original images

And yesterday I saw the documentation the Billboard Art Project so graciously got, and uploaded to Facebook.

I am very happy with the resolute of my projects within this project. I hope I can participate in more of their projects, and this fall when it comes to Southern California I would make sure to be there to document it.

Protest or Promotion?

2011-05-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

I received an email from MCASD about an event they will have. They are calling it “Sitting in Solidarity for Ai Weiwei”

At first I thought I must participate in this event. Then I read on learning more about it I became more and more suspect.

At first I thought how ingenious that we could sit in solidarity in Weiwei’s work, “Marble Chair”, the museum purchased 2 this month. But no, the chairs for the sit in are “two traditionally styled Chinese chairs”, I assume made in China.

Why aren’t we sitting in his chairs, making a real connection, using them for something he would more than applaud.

Then there’s the time frame. 24 hours starting Thu May 19 at 11. Thu May 19 also being the museums Free Third Thursday event.

Why 24 hours. There is no significance to this amount of time. Weiwei has been held, up until this point, for 45 days, 1,080 hours, and we can’t sit more than 24 hours, taking turns for 1 hour each.

Having witnessed the 60’s and early 70’s. Although not old enough to participate in the many protests, sit-ins, and marches. I was very much made aware of what was going, via my liberal parents, and TV, and I am not sure this constitutes being anything but a promotion.

And I find myself embarrassed to be a member.
All artwork above is that of Ai Weiwei

under the umbrella

2011-05-17T17:33:00.000-07:00

I remember reading in the tent, as the rain came down in the woods.

I hope I can cope

2011-05-13T18:42:00.000-07:00

random questions of art, is a project I just started on the Agitprop blog site.

It will be an exercise in acceptance, letting go, and moving on.

I know I will want to comment on the comments.

I must not, because if I do, I will lead myself down the slippery slop of judging, not accepting what others have every right to think, and thinking my thoughts are the correct ones.

This should be very interesting.

I really like

2011-05-13T15:07:00.000-07:00

I found this short sweet video

and memories of the exhibit at MOCA LA were immediate.

I was fortunate enough to see the exhibit 3 times, hear Richard Tuttle talk once, and have a drink after the talk with him, (and a few others).

I wish there were more opportunities to experience his work live.

conservation and art

2011-05-07T18:34:00.000-07:00

Today, dressed for spring in San Diego

I went to H2O: The Art Of Conservation, at the Water Conservation Garden, part of Cuyamaca College.

This garden in itself is spectacular and a exceptional example of the importance of our community colleges and why education should not fall victim to budget cuts.

My favorite piece was Dia Bassett’s.

It is a beautiful, crocheted recycled plastic bags, creating a river. She addresses issues of consumerism, waste, recycling, and water. Her piece is specific to her site.

I enjoyed many of the other pieces.

Adam John Manley

Collective Magpie

Omar Lopez

Ruth Wallen

Terri Hughes-Oelrich

Christopher Puzio

I know working within the limited budget set many constraints, which may explain why I saw many of them as mock-ups, hopefully later to become full scale site-specific installations.

I look forward to checking out the artists talks as this exhibit continues though the summer.