I must

It's a train wreck I cannot stop watching

I am telling myself

really really really

stop it on Facebook

stop stop stop

I am the only one who can stop myself

please

I need to find the strength to stop

I know it's so wrong

hopefully I can be forgiven and I can forgive myself

I am exhausted

What is draining me?

The negativity in the art scene here. The hatred. The violent in the Middle East. The homeless people sleeping under the 5 overpass on C street. Natural and manmade disaster in Japan. The amount of cash needed to live. The time constraints to work on my art.

I could use a break, a bike ride, a hike, but I feel too exhausted to do either.

I’ll try meditating. After the laundry, and paying bills.

a discussion in San Diego

Last night I attended a panel discussion

Under Wraps

Controversy and Art in Public Spaces – a discussion

Expressive Arts Institute

2820 Roosevelt Road, Ste. 204 

San Diego, CA 92106

Panelists

Ann Berchtold

Co-Founder/Director - ART SAN DIEGO Contemporary Art Fair

Wes Chester

Expressive Arts Therapist, Co-Director – Expressive Arts Institute

Curator – Martha Pace Swift Gallery

Scott B. Davis

Director of Exhibitions and Design

Museum of Photographic Arts

Kinsee Morlan

Arts & Web Editor – SD CityBeat

Anna Stump

Artist – San Diego

Alan Ziter

Executive Director – NTC Foundation

More panelists to be announced

Introduction

Kevin Freitas

Moderator

Katherine Sweetman

I really appreciated the fact that both sides of the issue where represented. 

The decision made by Alan Ziter (to not allow the exhibit of the large nude paintings by Anna Stump) looks as if it was made out of fear from an unknown. It looks as though he was afraid there would be complaints and was not willing to chance this. This is understandable, who in there right mind wants to spend any time listening to someone go off about something they don’t like.

Ann Berchtold told the story have having to take down a painting by Raul Guerrero at L Street Gallery (Kinsee Morlan blogs about it). And I can understand why the Omni Hotel wanted to placate to the organization, it’s business, and they cannot afford to loose a convention (small or large), no one can loose business these days. And as artists do we want to be so arrogant as to expect this.

But it was Scott B. Davis’s story about working with an artist, to come up with a solution, in dealing with the issue of what is appropriate to exhibit (real or perceived), that was inspiring. The idea that people (artists, curators, community members, business, etc), can come together and work out a solution is what I hope people will take away from the discussion last night.

Maybe if people can take a breath, step back, take a peak at all sides, maybe then they can get together to figure out how to make it all work, for all parties.

getting up

you’re going to have to get up

you’re going to have to get up

you’re going to have to get up

you’re going to have to get up

you’re going to have to get up

she said while leaning over the bed kissing him

and she wonders

am I talking to myself

she carries him off and makes the bed

a giving artist

Last night we went to the artist talk with Alexander Jarman and Savannah Jarmen for the installation This Is A City at Sala de Espera. They had changed the installation a little and it seemed to me much more open, which I am not sure I liked more than when I first saw it (blogged about it 3/11/11).  The installation still worked well and hearing the talk was not necessary to the experience, but was enjoyable in that it gave me new information.

Last night was especially inspiring in that I had the opportunity to learn more about Judith Pedroza, her practice, and Sala de Espera. 

Although I missed a couple of the previous projects, they are well documented on the website, and I look forward to experiencing the projects coming up, and the evolution of Sala de Espera. This is a gracious, giving, and inspiring concept.

It was also nice to seat around in the installation talking with friends, and meeting new people.

Thank you Judith!

volunteers

Every winter our yard grows crazy. with volunteers.

Every winter I notice new volunteers.

Every spring many volunteers die.

try to

Statement on wall beside the piece reads:

I am a woman who very early on in life decided not have children. This decision was based on my perception that the world was not a good place to bring a child into. What makes it bad is our behavior. What I want as a woman is for people to try.............. and if they try, things will change, then a woman would never have to question if this world was a good place to bring a child into.

As part of my practice I am trying to incorporate something the view can take with them and with this piece it’s the small Try To! blank notebook. Each one I create is numbered and signed.

Recently I went to where the piece is on display and was surprised to see all the note books gone. I have found that often times people are reluctant to take anything, or maybe they don’t like what I’ve offered.

This time I did not make a lot of extras to give out and now I am making notebooks, and its fun. I wonder if I will run out at the reception.

It has been a good experience creating this piece for the exhibit What Women Want.


The gathering of text to stamp on wallpaper:


try to:

1/22/11

put others first

be compassionate

believe

use your brain

be environmentally responsible

be conscientious

smile more

be grateful

be thankful

care

be responsible

stop war

1/23/11

give back

not judge

be sincere

not be angry

want less

communicate

understand

consume less

remember

not worry

accept

forgive

let go

be a good role model

be creative

pay attention

1/24/11

be considerate

be informed

make wise choices

eat organic

not eat meat

not be cheap

think of others first

walk more

read more

appreciate what you have

appreciate others

appreciate who you are

be humble

be curious

keep learning

1/25/11

ask questions

believe in peace

meditate

not make guns

be thankful

stop war

love

say thank you

not expect perfection

not live in fear

1/26/11

notice

accept

2/1/11

believe in change

2/28/11

make note of who I am

March: Women's History Month

This March I have the honor of being connected to Women’s History Month by an article  about women’s self portraits and an art exhibit “What Women Want”.

For the article “Mirror Image” I was interviewed by Kinsee Morlan about my piece Self Portrait 06. Our discussion started an internal dialogue as to how I define myself. Do I define myself as women artist, a feminist, a feminist artist? How does being a women affect my art? I am not sure being a women has given me a unique perspective or specifically defined who I am, or the work I create. I do know it is a piece of how I perceive, how I create, and who I am. What defines me is much broader than that of being a women.

I thank Kinsee for including me in this article.

I am in a group FIG (Feminist Image Group) and am not comfortable with being pigeon holed into being a feminist or image artist. There is a blog about the group and and right at the beginning a statement reads:

FIG is coalition of artists who meet to organize exhibitions, discuss art, see exhibitions, and support one another in our careers. We promote an inclusive worldview that allows all voices. As friends, we aid each other in our creative and curatorial endeavors.

Of course I think we should change the name and then the statement, maybe:

We are a coalition of women artists formed in support of one another and our careers, to promote an inclusive world view, allow all voices, and aid each other in our creative and curatorial endeavors.

We have an exhibit “What Women Want” and during this exhibit there will be a panel discussion moderated by Robert Pincus. Who at this time is the only one being paid. He is also at this time the only male. There is a real disconnect with this which has bothered me since I learned the other panelist would not be paid. I have contacted the members of FIG and suggested we pay the other panelist. As of today there are 8 out of the 20 participating women artists that have stated that they would support, financially, paying the 2 women panelist (the same as our male moderator). I am not sure this will happen. I thank FIG for being include in the exhibition, and the opportunity to explore what I, as a women, want.


I wonder if I can continue to be in this group.

I wonder, am I a bad women?

Fri Mar 11 2011

two experiences

1. Richard ChauDavis at the Museum of the Living Artist (more about it)

2. Border Corps MEXUS SEXUS FLUXUS at UAG, part of Archive Fever

cardboard city

Judith Pedroza has developed a very interesting project “Sala de Espera” and I had the opportunity to see the second project in this series “This is a City”, an installation by Alexander Jarman and Savannah Jarman.

I found this installation poetic in how it dealt with the physicality of this space, and enjoyed navigating it.

road trip 2 +

LA to the Barnsdall Art Park, site of Frank Lloyd Wright’s Hollyhock House and the Los Angeles Municipal Art Gallery.

We met up with more family and toured the house.

Luckily we split into to tours and we got a wonderful tour guide who I am sure knew I was sneaking picture taking.

all pictures on flickr

Then there was a reception at the gallery for the exhibit ‘Framing Abstraction: Mark, Symbol, Signifier.

Great space for Los Angeles art and artists.

The dinner at Restaurante Guelaguetza where we had fantastic food, and their famous mole, and Chocolate de Agua o Leche con Pan de Yema.

My parents always enjoy seeing as much art as possible so we went to MCASD downtown. For some reason I was expecting the Jennifer Steimkamp: Madame Curie installation to have live plants but instead was enthralled by the projection I walked into.

And we went to the San Diego History Center in Balboa Park and played around at the “Dressing the Part” show. An exhibit in collaboration with the Old Globe theater showcasing their collection of costumes.

Forésta had installed the background murals for the exhibit so we got to check out his exception work too!

Once again it was a fantastic visit with my parents, and we are all working to have them come down to spend longer periods of time.

road trip 1

During my parents most recent visit we did 2 road trips.

The first one to Las Vegas and back home via the Hoover Dam.

We did not take the tour into the dam, and somehow we missed the parking areas where we could park the car and walk across the new bypass bridge.

I do worry that no matter how much rain and snowpack we get we cannot catch up with the demand for water.

Must go back.

All pictures from road trip one here Flickr