life is trying

There are things happening in my life that have been very stressful. My mother has had a stroke, and now my Dad is having some health issues. I am not close by to be of any physical help, and I can see it is a lot for my sister and her partner. It is not bringing out the best in any of us. My stress level had been so high that I kept getting sick.

I am trying to really know that we cannot worry about what the future might bring. This is not easy to do. Our washing machine stopped working. We chose not to worry about it, figured out we can wash at the laundry room next door, and when we had the money we'd have someone look at it, and we went on. Yesterday a repair man came, and it turned out the pump was not working, and it just needed to be cleaned out. I learned how to get to the pump, clean it, probably even replace it. I found a handkerchief that was in the pump, and learned that all small items need to be washed in a mesh laundry bag, not just my bras. I can see from this experience it was much more productive to accept what was happening, figure out a way to live with it, and not worry.

I wish my sister and her partner would not worry so much about what might be, physically or financially with my parents, and themselves. I wish they could take this opportunity to maybe work a bit less and spend some quality time with my parents, do some fun things, and not just run in and out, dropping off food, and checking in. They are very lucky that they are close by and can have such an opportunity. 

The future really is so unpredictable. This can be disabiling, or energizing.

I hope the lesson will stay with me.