getting home

I changed my flight. I thought it was all done, all good, and I continued to advocate for my father, in the hospital, with end stage of heart failure. And we checked out possible 'homes' where my mother could live. It was all exactly what they and us had never wanted the end of their lives to be, but it is.

When I tried on-line check in the night before I was to leave, I got a message saying to check-in at the airport. I finished packing, sat around for awhile talking with my sister, and went to bed. I awoke, or got out of bed, at 5AM. A family friend in from Toronto came by at 5:18 to drive to me to the airport. I tried on-line check in again. Error message, call xxx.xx.xxxx, I did, where upon I was informed I had no reservation. This was not good, I had to be at work the next day. Flying on points, not always the best. On-line searches for flights, phone calls, on hold, what should I do. Finally someone on the other end of the line, and it was their mistake. I vaguely remember the agent changing my ticket, saying there would be an email. An email I never got. Who really dropped the ball, me dealing with aging parents, or the airline agent I spoke to change my ticket. An upgrade to business class, that was nice. Spent more time with my parents, took the Canada Line to the airport, flight delayed, wine bar (not the first class lounge), and I am on my way home. Another delay, this time it’s the first class lounge, which is extremely unimpressive.

Moving very, very far from two people that have afforded me an amazing life. And their future. They are dying, but where exactly will that be. It really sucks that I will not be there for them every day until that day. I am very sad. But, as my very practical mother (even with her stroke damaged mind), says to me, there is nothing we can do about it. We will be fine.

This feels like the most heart wrenching thing I have ever been through. Even more than the phone call about my brother, suddenly dead at the age of 30. When I had to take an extremely long flight up to Vancouver, with my dad, to get to my mom, my sister, and my sister-in-law, so we could make the arrangements. That was so sudden and unexpected. This feels so long and drawn out.