where will I go

Tomorrow I go to LA for this talk.

Frank Escher & Ravi GuneWardena

I think architecture can guide me to where I want to go with my art.
Today I went through all the art I have in my studio. The work I like I have kept. The work I don’t like went away. Most recycled, but unfortunately some will end up in the landfill instead.
I came across some old drawings and thought; "I don’t want people to know I can draw". What is up with that thought?

"Some day I will need this old work for my museum retrospective." What is up with this thought. This thought that has been stuck in the back of my head for eons.
I let go and am liberated.

Getting rid of all that stuff, material and thought, lightens my load.
I am ready to find out where I will go from here.


It is very funny that I can have conversations with people through Facebook and email and they have no idea who I am when they see me.

The idea of anonymity is intriguing. I wonder if it is something worth preserving. If so how can it be done, without masks.


stuff again

I cannot stop thinking about where I want my art to go from here.

While viewing the Joseph Beuys Multiples show at BCMA, LACMA

I found myself thinking about creating multiples as a way to connect my art with more people.

But then I read Mario Cutajar, writer for ArtScene, on Art as Authority blog say:
“This imperative to ceaselessly produce stuff and fill the large empty spaces of institutions like MOCA is for me one of the most oppressive features of contemporary art.”

And I am brought back to how much it bothers me to make so much stuff. I am an artist and an avid environmentalist (and not new to either, both for 30+ years). Can I be true to both? How can I lessen my environmental impact, and make art? Maybe it can be public art, not the kind that is stuff stuck out there, something else. Maybe it is something not yet imagined something yet to be discovered, something I have no words for. Whatever it is now is the time to find it. I really need to find it.

Questions I have:
Does the work get recycled after being exhibited? Does this really solve the problem of stuff? Does the work come in and out of a box, easy to store, and transport. Does the work get made from materials that compost back into the earth? Does the work get made from discarded materials? Is the work permanent?

I need to study more about Cradle to Cradle, maybe answers can be found there.
In the meantime, do I keep making stuff? I do have plenty of stuff in my studio to keep making stuff. What can I, what should I do?


cold stress

When will I learn? I had been stressing out for too long about money letting a cold get a hold of me.

It is easy to say don’t stress, but sometimes I just don’t know how to turn if off, redirect it, not let it control me.

Once a cold enters my body, and I know right away, there is no stopping it. It’s takes its path and lives its life.

Yesterday was spent on the couch, in and out of sleep. The TV on, TMC channel, wonderful black and white old movies.

At one point I opened my eyes and saw a table I just adore.

Today I am tired and still a little congested, but able to get work done.

Time will tell if I’ve learnt my lesson about stress.


time is not always on our side

This morning on CBS Sunday Morning there was much time devoted to the disaster in Haiti.

Towards the end of the broadcast a surgeon/correspondent stated that help was arriving daily, but it cannot get here fast enough.

Help can never get to a disaster fast enough.
This fact is one element which defines a disaster.

hometown care

As part of my goal to improve my fitness level I was suppose to ride the SDBC developmental ride yesterday. Because I woke up with a slight tickle in my throat I did an easier ride.

It was nice to go through neighborhoods and see that San Diego has many I would not mind living in. And we rode by a complex which I’d seen many times before, and every time I look and I say to myself how much I like the buildings. I thought it must be a high school and yesterday I made sure to see the sign and I discovered it was Lincoln High.

When I got home I Goggled Lincoln High and found out its history through Wikipedia. It has a long history and before it was torn down and rebuild, there was much gang activity. When we rode by today it was bustling with activity. I’ve ridden by many high schools on a Sat and they are locked up and void of humans, and I wondered why educational institutes would not be open all the time. Lincoln High has produced the second most NFL players in the entire nation. I find this impressive, and I’m not a football fan.

I discovered the architect, Joseph Martinez, alum of Lincoln High, with Martinez-Cutri (MC Architects). I checked out the website and saw more of their work.

It is uplifting work I have seen in some of the worst neighborhoods in San Diego.

This is most impressive. Here’s an architect that came from one of the worst schools in San Diego, becomes an architect, and remains in his community to help it, through architecture.


art experience

MCASD had a member’s event last night at the Dara Donovan exhibit. An informative informal walk through with curators. It was really nice to see this work at night.

I overheard a women say to another that it was nice that people were looking, but did they understand. I thought to myself, experience. Is understanding necessary? And then I wondered is it ever necessary that a viewer “understand”, any work, is the experience enough?

Dara Donovan’s work I found easy to like, it’s can be mesmerizing, beautiful, and enveloping.

The curator said the straw piece was site specific, but I question this.

Walls were made specifically for this piece so I am not sure this constitutes a site specific piece. I think her work can be moved can shown in many museums and galleries. My question, is this really site specific work?

I am gateful to MCASD for bringing this work so close to me. I find myself thinking that I am such a dumb artist, but then I let that go, and I am inspired.


caught up

I just finished everything I put off for the school semester to end.

2 grant proposals
2 installation proposals
It’s taken 26 days, minus the 7 days between Xmas and New Years.

Oh, and the oil change for my car.

As I drove home from the oil change I looked to my left and noticed it was winter.


Chuck Close again

The Chuck Close documentary by Marion Cajori is an easy one to watch again. Last night we had some friend over to watch it and I found myself picks up new bits of information.

I love how he said something like he was glad he had not kept a journal because he can rewrite his history to fit. Love that idea.

Although he did not keep a journal, there is quite a bit of documentation over the years by others that he may be kept to a limited rewrite.

We have this documentary saved on Tivo and I would like to watch it again. I think I’ll watch as I did the first time, little bits at a time. Kinda like his paintings, little bits making up a whole.


success and art

Last night I went and heard Michele Guieu speak about her installation Lucy, Darwin and Me.

At the end there was a question and answer period and she was asked how she would measure if the exhibit was a success.

Success is such a relative subjective idea. Galleries would probably measure success through sales, museums through visits. Both would probably say a lot of media coverage is also a measurement of success.

But for me as an artist, the success of an exhibit means I have to gained knowledge and find inspiration to move on.

The process of seeing my work outside the studio and ideas realized needs to give me something to evolve as an artist. When this happens the exhibit, and/or installation is a success.


lemons to lemonade

I don’t know. Could it be my hormonal imbalance or is it really money issues. I have been an emotional wreck whenever I think or talk about what’s happening financially right now.

Today I went to the Small Business Administration and met with a SCORE counselor.
Thank goodness for resources like this, very informative and uplifting.
If we’re not at the bottom of this, I think we are close, so we just need to survive, again. We’ve done it before and we can do it again.

And there is proof we have seasons here in San Diego!

We are in Green Season.

In other places it's winter.

And we have lemons turning yellow.

As that old saying goes, it is time to turn lemons into lemonade.


get to work

Our staycation was fantastic.
We did a lot of bike riding.

Urban hiking, and one real hike.

And totally blew off my diet with lots and lots of sugar.

Now I am working on many things including grants, art proposals, and job hunting.

A part-time job would be so nice. We could really use a little infusion of money for our household, my art, and school.

I have been job searching for quite awhile now and it feels I am unemployable.

Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Maybe it’s not meant to be.

Maybe I should focus on my art.

I will try selling handmade items on Etsy, maybe I can make a little money.

I will get to work on my art.

I will get to work.


leaving 2009

In 2009
I went deep into debt. This scares me and I thought I was poor.

In 2009
I got healthier, I learnt a lot, I was creative, I loved and was loved.

I am rich going into 2010.